Connected Individualism: Dissolving the "Us" vs. "Them" Barriers

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Over the past couple of months, I have been exploring the four tenets of Mindful Marketing. (You may read more about the first two here: Flexible Consistency and Embodied Wealth.)

The third tenet is Connected Individualism. I really could have called this one “Interdependence,” but I’m a sucker for symmetry and the three others are beautiful 2-word phrases, so I got creative with this one. 🤩

At the heart of Mindful Marketing is the desire to thoughtfully question the way in which we operate not only as business entities but also as the people who get to make the decisions about those businesses. This means that we consciously explore our belief systems to ensure that we’re making decisions from a place of compassion and truth instead of allowing the stifling narratives from the oppressive systems that we’ve inherited to run the show.

So what does Connected Individualism, a seemingly contradictory phrase, mean?

One of the basic principles of free market capitalism is that buyers have full autonomy over their buying decisions. Though I believe that autonomy is a good thing, this of course breeds a system of fierce competition amongst sellers, which fosters an us versus them mentality. This then feeds the fear of scarcity, tricking us into believing that there isn’t enough for all of us, and the competition becomes cutthroat.

This practice of homing in on what sets us apart is known as differentiation, a Marketing 101 concept. Whenever you start a new venture, you will certainly be asked to define your differentiating factor.

But I do think this over-emphasis on what sets us apart, what makes us different, perpetuates a common myth that the good ol’ American Dream likes to propagate: that you can do it all on your own and those who can’t aren’t working hard enough.

From where I sit, that belief in such hyper-individualism is corrosive. It’s detrimental to the psyches of everyone who attempts to go after their dream and believes they have to shoulder the weight of the pursuit all on their own. And it completely dismisses the pervasiveness of white supremacy and ignores the reality that the so-called “American Dream” was really built for white, land-owning men.

This practice of tallying our differences has the tendency to drive us further apart as humans and to put up more walls as brands. Ultimately, it causes us to see other people as obstacles, not human beings with needs and desires very similar to our own.

Each of us, and each of our businesses, are wildly and beautifully unique. We all bring something different and necessary to the table, and my wish is for us all to celebrate our uniqueness fully.

And...

We are also all humans with wants, needs, desires, fears, and struggles.

We are so wonderfully different, and we’re so magnificently the same.

I believe we can hold both in life and business, celebrating our differences while embracing our similarities. We can honor how we’re feeling called to show up in the world, while also lifting up someone else for honoring their truth.

I believe that when we do this, when we acknowledge our individual gifts while still seeing the humanity in the other, we can make more of our business decisions that have a wider perspective than just what will benefit us.

Instead of relying on the capitalistic framework that seeks to further isolate, we can choose another way. We can celebrate who we uniquely are AND make decisions that include other factors than those simply tailored to boost our personal gain.

What might this look like in practice?

Focus on Radical Generosity in your business rather than endlessly analyzing the competition. While it can be helpful to know what others are doing, I find it more impactful to tune out the extraneous noise of others so that you may tune in more deftly to your truth.
Find an audience who resonates with what you truly want to create in the world rather than trying to fit into a “profitable” niche that doesn’t work for you. Despite what other experts say, you can be your beautifully multitudinous self and bring all of that to your work. You do not have to whittle yourself down into something more palatable so that it will be easier to sell.
Explore alternative pricing structures and/or offerings that acknowledge how historical oppression (that is still prominent today!) impacts individuals differently and making giving back a part of your business model. Whether this is through regular donations, scholarship offerings, or sliding scale pricing, there are so many ways to consider how the structure of your business can fight systems of oppression.
Focus on building relationships in your industry rather than differentiating yourself at all costs. This is along the cliched lines of “community over competition,” but there is some truth to it. Highlighting each of your strengths can lead to some really beautiful collaborations and reciprocal partnerships. Again, we’re being asked to think outside of the binary. Another person doing something similar to you is not inherently bad. In fact, could it be the start of something expansive with a really beautiful referral partnership?
Trust that there is enough for everyone. Because y’all, there really is! Capitalism was built on perpetuating the myth of scarcity. We can slowly dismantle the far-reaching grip it has on us by working towards embodying this truth and operating from this place of unshakeable knowing.

When we take our focus off competing and standing out, we allow ourselves to sink into who we are and what we can bring to the table from a place of joy, passion, and generosity, not from a fear-based drive to get as much as we can before someone else gets ours. We can relax and build something truly meaningful that creates more good in the world, which is what many high-conscious entrepreneurs set out to do in the first place.

If you’re interested in learning more about Connected Individualism and the other 3 tenets of mindful marketing, I want to invite you to check out the Mindful Marketing Mastermind, a 4-month group experience to support you in the next phase of your growth as an individual and a business owner.

Learn more about that here!